In Relation to Slaughterhouse Five

I had a difficult time grasping the relationships in Slaughterhouse Five, beyond the fact that very few relationships seemed to develop, those that occurred remained vague. I suppose though that was the first indication that the relationships in the book were unhealthy. Billy remained apathetic towards most characters-- particularly emphasized by stating "So it goes." after every single death. However, I saw it as an indication that to form a relationship capable of helping or hurting someone, one must have a stable relationship with oneself. Billy remains damaged after the war, this manifests as his time traveling ways and dreamt up encounters, which prevents him from forming external relationships and even being a unified entity.
After reading the anti-war narrative, I was amazed at how Vonnegut depicted the effects of the traumas of war and how abstractly we could understand a distant and removed protagonist. Billy, to me, was harming his relationship with himself, even though he was coping with it the only way he possibly could. Although the relationships in the novel between characters seemed relatively neutral, maybe slightly damaging since there was apathy and removal on Billy's end, it was Billy in relation to himself that carried a more poignant message. Can one even have a strong relationship with another when you are in dissonance with yourself?

In Relation to Beloved

After reading Beloved by Toni Morrison I reflected a lot on the mother-daughter relationships in the novel, which seemed to indicate you can love someone too much. The parasitic relationship between Beloved and Sethe illuminated to me that a love with all the best intentions, could still prove harmful. A relationship such as theirs weakens the individuals, taking and taking with out giving anything back. Specifically I noted that possessiveness proved detrimental to the relationships of Beloved. The repeated instances of the phrases “She is mine” and “You are mine” though intended to display dedication and love, made the recipient a possession rather than a human. A relationship centered on possession can initialize dominant and submissive roles in the relationship—as seen with Beloved and Sethe. The novel is depicted through magical realism and therefore the results of possessiveness and then dominance are illustrated as such. Sethe’s draining and withering away and Beloved’s gorging and vitality both manifest physically, providing a more tangible evidence to the effects of too much love turn to possession.

            I keep returning to the notion that it’s not the relationships built on the worst pretences or with unfortunate people that create the most harmful environments. But it’s rather the ones so filled with love and passion that create a storm that can deliver the most damage. 

In Relation to King Lear

King Lear focused once again on the dynamics of family relationships, specifically between fathers and their children. Arguably, most of the relationships in Lear could be categorized as harmful, destructive relationships with betrayal after betrayal and ultimately a whole lot of deaths. However the one relationship that stood out so distinctly to me in the play was the one between Edgar and Gloucester. In a book filled with so much animosity between relatives, their relationship, stands out as a stark contrast, Edmund seems to care deeply for his father.
This powerful relationship I find most apparent in  Act IV, Scene i, where Gloucester and Edgar meet again, after Gloucester has lost his eyes and Edgar is in disguise. I believe this relationship holds its potency in the fact that both men have face severe betrayal by the same hand, as well as Edgar hiding his true identity. The betrayal of Edmund I believe brought the father and son together in a way that could not have occurred if Edmund hadn't been treacherous. With Edgar in disguise, he only reveals his emotions in asides, such as the heart wrenching phrase "Bless thy sweet eyes, they bleed." Though the father and son, are not able to fully restore their relationship to its previous nature, they kindle a new one in the brief timespan they have together. In which Gloucester reveals his weakness and accepts help and Edgar can express his compassion and devotion to his father, in spite of Gloucester being unaware he is with his legitimate son.
Sometimes it is the hardships in life that cause a relationship to be a positive healthy entity. They can piece together previously shattered relationships through shared adversity and create a new appreciation for that person.

In Relation to Oedipus

The unique relationships in Oedipus serves as the center for the plot and depict such a distinctive relationship as to have a complex named after the relationships. Oedipus unknowingly married and had children with his mother, a heavily tabooed premise, which would typically be characterized as an unhealthy relationship, exhibits none of the typical signs. Oedipus ruled Thebes fairly with Jocasta, and appeared to have been a faithful husband and good father, all conventional signs of a healthy relationship. The dynamic of Oedipus and Jocasta's relationship changed, rightly so, with the knowledge of Jocasta being Oedipus's mother. The relationship rapidly shifted to unhealthy, ultimately resulting in Jocasta taking her own life.
The interesting aspect of the relationship, is that the underlying cause for the unhealthy relation, that Oedipus married his mother, was always there. It was only with the information being presented to them that the relationship turned unhealthy. Oedipus' marriage to his mother only effected their relationship when they were aware, indicating that the situation had no subconscious or innate effect upon their relationship.

Posing the question...

What causes a relationship to be healthy or harmful?

We build, start and potentially destroy relationships every day. This question fascinates me because of relationships are constantly present in our lives, the good and the bad. I think back about how a good friend when I was youngr, could decide we were no longer friends or the friendships that have spanned years against all odds, and wonder how healthy the relationships in my life are. I seem to recall more relationships in my life that hurt me, maybe because an average healthy relationship fades into the background, while the memories of the relationships tinged with hurt can still bring back the pain. I have experienced a relationship with both healthy and unhealthy elements. There were days where I could count on them for support in hard times. With those came moments where I wanted to get in my car drive to wherever they were and shout at them to their face because a livid phone call just didn't seem to suffice. After going through such a contrasting relationship, I really became aware of the quality of my relationships and became curious what could cause these changes.

In my summer reading, Atonement by Ian  McEwan, the relationships between the characters evolves significantly from beginning to end and I find very difficult to determine if the relationships are what they originally come off as. The initial cause of  the deterioration of Briony and Cecilia's relationship is through the lie that Briony tells. Lies seem to be a common cause for harmful relationships, but I wonder if their relationship prior was healthy and if through atoning a healthy relationship would have been possible. I also feel as though Cecilia's relationship with Robbie may have had both elements. On the positive side, their love showed true devotion and worked as a motivator for Robbie while in war. However through committing to a relationship that was based upon a single day, they both sacrificed lives in which they could find a fulfilling relationship.