What causes a relationship to be healthy or harmful?
We build, start and potentially destroy relationships every day. This question fascinates me because of relationships are constantly present in our lives, the good and the bad. I think back about how a good friend when I was youngr, could decide we were no longer friends or the friendships that have spanned years against all odds, and wonder how healthy the relationships in my life are. I seem to recall more relationships in my life that hurt me, maybe because an average healthy relationship fades into the background, while the memories of the relationships tinged with hurt can still bring back the pain. I have experienced a relationship with both healthy and unhealthy elements. There were days where I could count on them for support in hard times. With those came moments where I wanted to get in my car drive to wherever they were and shout at them to their face because a livid phone call just didn't seem to suffice. After going through such a contrasting relationship, I really became aware of the quality of my relationships and became curious what could cause these changes.
In my summer reading, Atonement by Ian McEwan, the relationships between the characters evolves significantly from beginning to end and I find very difficult to determine if the relationships are what they originally come off as. The initial cause of the deterioration of Briony and Cecilia's relationship is through the lie that Briony tells. Lies seem to be a common cause for harmful relationships, but I wonder if their relationship prior was healthy and if through atoning a healthy relationship would have been possible. I also feel as though Cecilia's relationship with Robbie may have had both elements. On the positive side, their love showed true devotion and worked as a motivator for Robbie while in war. However through committing to a relationship that was based upon a single day, they both sacrificed lives in which they could find a fulfilling relationship.
